Unmanly Things Secretly Manly

NFL Lineman Antonio Garay. You tell him he's unmanly.

Of course we are all tired of the unmanly ads from Miller Lite and Dr. Pepper. There are as many different ways to be a man as there are men, and these cookie-cutter ads don’t really seem to be gaining much traction, at least where I hang out.

The one ad that really gets me, though, is the scooter one. Dude is chilling on a scooter. He even looks confident, and talks about scootering with others. He could have a posse of scooter men and women following along with him — he even mentions a scooter buddy. He might be scootering to rugby practice with a mini-keg. He seems calm and collected. Maybe he’s a ninja choosing a greener method of getting to his job of kicking ass.

In no way, shape, or form does that dude seem unmanly to me.

Confidence might be the one thing that I zero in on. Confidence might separate the men from the boys. If we need a separator at all.

So: scream when the fish hits you in the face, as long as you own your squeamishness about fish. Go to the bathroom with your boys, and make it funny. Wear tight jeans and flaunt them. Bronze the fuck out of yourself and laugh at the orange jokes. WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT AND BELT THE DAMN SONG OUT IF SOMEONE SAYS SHIT.

All of this seems so obvious. But it’s also obvious when ad campaigns, whether they be political or gastronomical, choose to play on your fear. Listen, if you want to drink Miller Lite, you know what I’ll say (drink it with confidence and belch that sweet swill in someone’s face if they say anything) — but you also could drink another beer, if just to teach these ad companies a lesson.

Fear sucks. Confidence paired with eccentricity is the bomb. That is all, really.

[Also, read this reddit thread for a similarly-themed trip]

About enosarris

I write. About baseball, mostly, but also about the anthropology of sports, travel, cooking and sometimes music. But yeah, baseball mostly.
This entry was posted in Clothes, psychology, Sorta Serious, television. Bookmark the permalink.

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